[ Don't be like that Buck. Steve'll shoot and kill anything that comes through that door and attempts to kill you. It isn't even a matter of consideration, it would be pure instinct. But his mouth thins a little at the 'small talk' comment, like he wants to argue that point but isn't sure it would be worth the resulting bad feelings. ]
I did see it. [ His shoulders lift into a deliberately blase shrug. ] Haven't been here as long as most of the others, so I got no stake in rebellion. And I think it looks like a trap. Why?
[Bucky smiles - and it's definitely wry.] I think it might be a trap, sure. But I also think if it's real... people who wanna go should have that choice.
I offered to help.
[Then,] This is not me dragging you into it. I'm just saying. I - was willing to stay, but help people who wanted to leave. Now... I dunno. If it's real - what would you do?
Choice is important. [ Steve nods, then defensively folds his arms across his chest when Bucky continues. There isn't much hesitation when he answers, which means he has thought about it. But the variables that drive him might not be the ones that drive the other man. ]
I'd stay. If I go back, I'll die. Either at the hands of HYDRA, or the United States government. Executed or locked in a cage, or worse. But if it turns out that we all go back, at least I'd have the memories of being a person.
Don't know if I should involve myself. [ He's had nothing but fighting for the last seventy years. ]
Choice Is important, [Bucky repeats, even though he's grown more and more tense with every word, at the idea of people who would - could - do that to Steve.]
Then you should stay. I mean - I'm gonna. Not that - I just meant. I'll still be here for you.
And if we're sent back against our will... I will find you. And get you the hell out of there. Or die trying.
[He leans forward, elbows on his knees, gaze locked on Steve's.] You're not alone.
Why? [ It slips out before he can stop himself, lips pursed together immediately after. It might not be immediately apparent what he's responding to. But Steve takes care of that, either because he genuinely wants to know, or is fending off an interrogation. ]
You've already got a better version of me. One who isn't broken.
[ Steve leans back - it's a minute amount, barely an inch, but the movement of his shoulders and the mixture of defiance and fear in his gaze is unmistakable. ]
Aren't you? He has my name. My old name. He can stand to be around people. He's a hero. Why wouldn't you rather spend time with him.
[ There's a trace amount of bitterness, but it's directed at his own failings. The other Steve is Steve. For him it's that simple. ]
That's factually incorrect. [ Maybe he's been spending too much of what little time he can stand around people with Vision. Because that sounds a lot like the android. ] You are not second-rate.
And watch your language.
[ Obviously Steve has never, ever cussed at any point in his life. Never never. But that's irrelevant because, ]
[Yeah, you do sound an awful lot like a certain android right now. If anything, it sort of makes the situation worse.
Even if the snort a second later sounds almost like a laugh. Yeah, Steve. You've got the cleanest mouth ever. Of course.]
Because I can't. It's not an option, and he - has things he needs to do. Things I can't help him with. And I'm not going to ask him to stay for me.
[Even if that's maybe what Steve had asked, once, of Bucky - and of course he'd said yes.]
Besides. I guess I'm not second rate. [He leans back in the chair a little now, kicking at the ground.] There're two Bucky Barnes ahead of me. I'm third-rate, at best.
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I did see it. [ His shoulders lift into a deliberately blase shrug. ] Haven't been here as long as most of the others, so I got no stake in rebellion. And I think it looks like a trap. Why?
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I offered to help.
[Then,] This is not me dragging you into it. I'm just saying. I - was willing to stay, but help people who wanted to leave. Now... I dunno. If it's real - what would you do?
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I'd stay. If I go back, I'll die. Either at the hands of HYDRA, or the United States government. Executed or locked in a cage, or worse. But if it turns out that we all go back, at least I'd have the memories of being a person.
Don't know if I should involve myself. [ He's had nothing but fighting for the last seventy years. ]
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Then you should stay. I mean - I'm gonna. Not that - I just meant. I'll still be here for you.
And if we're sent back against our will... I will find you. And get you the hell out of there. Or die trying.
[He leans forward, elbows on his knees, gaze locked on Steve's.] You're not alone.
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You've already got a better version of me. One who isn't broken.
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What?
Steve - fuck. Grant. Is that what you think I'm fucking doing? Replacing you with a better version?
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Aren't you? He has my name. My old name. He can stand to be around people. He's a hero. Why wouldn't you rather spend time with him.
[ There's a trace amount of bitterness, but it's directed at his own failings. The other Steve is Steve. For him it's that simple. ]
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He's different than you are. Not better. Different.
And yeah. I like spending time with him. But you're my best friend. I know you don't remember it. But I do. And you are.
If anyone's fucking second-rate, it's me. [His fists clench, but he doesn't look away. Even though he wants to.]
He's leaving. And I'm staying. With you.
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And watch your language.
[ Obviously Steve has never, ever cussed at any point in his life. Never never. But that's irrelevant because, ]
I don't understand why you aren't going with him.
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Even if the snort a second later sounds almost like a laugh. Yeah, Steve. You've got the cleanest mouth ever. Of course.]
Because I can't. It's not an option, and he - has things he needs to do. Things I can't help him with. And I'm not going to ask him to stay for me.
[Even if that's maybe what Steve had asked, once, of Bucky - and of course he'd said yes.]
Besides. I guess I'm not second rate. [He leans back in the chair a little now, kicking at the ground.] There're two Bucky Barnes ahead of me. I'm third-rate, at best.
[Fuck. Is this how Steve feels? It's awful.]
You're where I belong, though. I'm sure of that.